The Resistance

Reblog, originally published 11-23-20.

Right now we’ve got two major timelines competing for dominance. They both use Q (words) in their future-speak. One talks about global financial reset that will require vaccination and other controls if you want to keep your rights as citizens, the other talks about the world revalue to gold standard and says the tech coming is free to everyone and that we’ll be experiencing a debt jubilee. They are opposites, but they both say the world is about to change.

If you are floating on twitter for your ‘news’, you’re still not getting it. Yes, they have digs and sauce, and some of it is brilliant if you are actively pursuing truth and sourced information. Don’t limit yourself. I just linked you to something (in the original post, linked above) no one is really talking about yet, something that seems to have been under our noses for years, yet something we don’t have familiar lingo for in news and across medias yet.

We’ve been brain trained all our lives to trust ‘news’ sources. Authoritative articles and news segments slide easily into our brains and we adopt incoming info like that regularly. It all seems congruent and matchy and, as mentioned, authoritative, so we assume it is truth. People who know more truth beyond what we are being shown, real scientists and researchers around the world, have been very aggressively blocked for months by tech giants controlling our social medias and keeping us in doubt about ‘truthers’ and ‘conspiracies’. If we become tempted to research on our own and then share what we find, our own accounts become censorship targets and it’s really hard to understand why the tech giants want so badly to stop us sharing verified and sourced info that we worked hard to find. Some of us certainly work harder than ‘journalists’.

Truth is a funny thing. We can create self fulfilling truths that we make up. For instance, if you tell a bunch of already health-compromised people that they must 1) mask everywhere, 2) stay indoors, 3) withdraw from society, 4) listen to their doctors, and 5) follow all mandates or face legal retaliation, we get a bunch of people growing even more health-compromised. We know many of those people already have airway risks and low immunity, so rebreathing their own germ-laden air can actually cause bacterial infections back into their lungs that can literally kill them. We know that going out into the sunshine and fresh air is crucial to our health, so not replacing the vitamin D lost by staying indoors for months greatly enhances chronic illness. We know that withdrawing from society markedly increases mental health issues and spikes suicides and drug abuse. We know that people like this can become very afraid of their doctors diagnosing them with the mysterious new disease that ‘everyone’ seems to be dying from and no one gets to visit in hospitals or attend funerals, which is extremely scary, the thought of dying alone in a very scary situation like that, so patients needing treatment for other issues like heart disease and cancers aren’t getting treatment out of fear. And we know the fear of legal retaliation means that this group of people won’t stand up for their own health care rights.

That is very self fulfilling. Some scientists and doctors are predicting this next flu season will be rougher than usual because so many people have become even more immune compromised the months before, and if flu gets diagnosed as covid (we saw how that went down over the summer), that will triple and quadruple the absolute fear of getting covid. All this looks like, to me, higher death rates just because the whole thing is rigged to contribute to higher death rates whether there is more covid or not.

Then there is the media. No covid numbers anywhere the few tense days around the election, like suddenly it didn’t matter, then a severely nasty spike in covid numbers once it was clear the election couldn’t immediately certify a winner. And now the ‘news’ is hammering the nation with more covid fear that the governors don’t seem to share in, like breaking their own rules and stuff.¬†If covid is that dangerous, the leaders wouldn’t be breaking the rules. They are evidently not afraid of it. ūü§Ē

With all this covid distraction, we are being trained to tune out what doesn’t seem dire and to go on full alert over the word covid. Let’s get real. If this had been a smallpox scenario, like in the real Dark Winter simulations, a third of the world would already have died off by now.

Smallpox, because of its high case-fatality rates and transmissibility, represents one of the most serious biological warfare threats to the civilian population. In 1980, the World Health Assembly announced that smallpox had been eradicated and recommended that all countries cease vaccination. Although labs in two countries still officially store smallpox samples (U.S. and Russia), its re-appearance would almost certainly indicate an intentional outbreak.

Aerosol release of smallpox virus disseminated among a relatively small population could result in a significant epidemic. Evidence suggests the infectious dose is very small. Several factors are cause for concern: the disease has historically been feared as one of the most serious of all pestilential diseases; it is physically disfiguring; it bears a 30 percent case-fatality rate; there is no treatment; it is communicable from person to person. Vaccination ceased in this country in 1972, and vaccination immunity acquired before that time has undoubtedly waned. Prior to eradication, data on smallpox outbreaks in Europe indicated that victims had the potential to infect 10 to 20 others. However, there has never been a smallpox outbreak in such a densely populated, highly mobile, unvaccinated population such as exists today.

In 1947, in response to a single case of smallpox in New York City, 6,350,000 people were immunized (500,000 in one day), including President Harry Truman. In 1972, after disappearing from Yugoslavia for four decades, a single case of smallpox emerged. There are two ways to control a smallpox epidemic – vaccine and isolation. Yugoslavia’s Communist leader, Josip Tito, used both. He instituted a nation-wide quarantine, and immunized the entire country of 20 million people using vaccine supplied by the World Health Organization.

From https://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/our-work/events-archive/2001_dark-winter/about.htm

As you can see, the ‘covid exercise’ is not new. This is not a new thing. What has been going on this whole year is more like a test over world control than a real apocalypse. So many of us have become so immediately responsive to screens updating us all day long that we have become very malleable, as populations go.

I’m not happy with being malleable. I like being able to use my own brain to figure things out. The best way to get brain exercise and build up your brain abs is to go find things that you’re not sure about and dig up all the pros and cons and settle for yourself what is right. We’re not a dumb species. Unless we let other people do all our thinking for us.

I don’t trust billionaire oligarchy. They could care less if we die from bacterial reinfection from masking all day. And now some of them are telling us to wear them at home around people who aren’t even sick.

Did you know that airway problems is one of the fastest ways to kill people? If you are reinfecting yourselves with icky masks that you aren’t changing out through the day and washing, you have been trained to literally poison yourself. I wonder why proper masking isn’t being taught in all this big fear. Maybe because, to them, it doesn’t matter…. ūü§Ē As long as you *wear* the mask, you don’t get in trouble for not wearing a mask. Just “wear the damn mask”, as they say.

‘Wear the damn mask’ means “Shut up and do as you’re told. OBEY.” 

Find who you are. Go inside yourself and test what feels right, what feels wrong. Families torn apart. Business owners losing everything they have. Freedom to move around and shop and travel and enjoy one another taken away. Can those stuck on the controlling side escape?

What happens if all the screens go down and you don’t have someone telling you what to do?

Bless the poor souls no one sees fighting on the other side. As Roseanne says, WWFG1WFGA.


manifesting beyond lockstep

I’ve been watching the fringes of the gold standard updates regarding humanitarian projects for a number of months. I think these humanitarian projects are/will be social contract obligations set up for world, regional, and local humanitarian assistance projects and programs by our wealthier citizens who want to get involved with personally helping to restructure and rebuild our very broken world once the {il}legal blockades are finally out of the way per NESARA/GESARA. Here are some sample articles over time if you’d like to see what I’m talking about.

Restored Republic via a GCR: Update as of May 30, 2020

Restored Republic via a GCR: Update as of Sat. 19 Dec. 2020

“New Name: GFS Gold-backed Financial System” by Ron Giles – 12.22.20

Most of us don’t have this level of manna to pour into world support, although some of us very much wish we had some way to help or contribute to world healing. Ron says in his article-

“I am a knowledgeable Sovereign responding to my Stewardship responsibility. I am focused on service to humanity, to search out and find the repressed and forgotten in society as well as the average person trying to make ends meet to live a meaningful life for themselves and their loved ones.”

Ron also says “each one will participate at a level they personally feel comfortable with”.

That means each of us, if we wish, will be able to offer our talents and services to the whole and good of humanity on levels in which we are able to participate and do so, without it cutting into our being able to survive without ‘losing everything’.

I’m going to use me as an example. I’ve been on disability for a few years and have been living check to check, so how can I possibly help? Well, the first thing is to stop thinking in terms of money. I ask myself, What am I good at? Obviously, I write a lot. I’m getting fairly good at putting ideas into print and finding ways to get them seen. What are my favorite ideas that I think would be helpful? Well, this might actually get fun.

Before I share the ideas, I’ll briefly mention that I feel uniquely interested in the way gaming brings a variety of people together, allowing space for learning skills and cooperation among sometimes very neurologically diverse players, which is a bit challenging sometimes for gaming staff. Add to that my history of cognitive challenges and regaining functions over time through gaming, and I could see a very valuable support system for ‘braining’. Games being both socially interactive and having great tools for rebuilding from brain accidents in a way that can be both self motivating and monitored for assessment seems especially valuable to certain populations. I wrote about that in an article for Autisable titled Neurodiversity in Fandoms and Gaming.

Now comes the fun part. I seem to be gifted with the weird kind of brain that can adapt anything I’ve seen into something else. I have shared a number of minecraft dreams where the basic concepts of economy, property development, and social interactions were adapted into real time 3D interactive holographic areas across both run down areas in big cities and public parks systems, setting aside large areas that allowed people to get real exercise role playing activities.

The city games were a bit like paintball, excepting with the interactive computer programs built into the game areas, players could team up for rewards depending on how well they interacted and cooperated. This seemed ideal for younger homeless people who weren’t ready to fit into a nuclear family society. As they played, they learned applicable skills, just like people do on their laptops when they game.

The games in the public parks reminded me of creative plots given to players who join big game servers, marked out territories in which players could decide what kind of level of creativity and development they wanted to try out. In the dreams, these are very cute areas where younger children are allowed about a quarter acre of code protected space to learn how environmental and construction systems work. ‘Owners’ of plots would get passwords, and expiry time without ongoing interaction would revert the plot back to a blank canvas of space. All this being on public parks meant plenty of sunshine and fresh air for kids to run around in while still having structured play to focus on.

I feel like I’ve been dreaming of the future, and maybe I have. I would love to see this level of tech developed and used for the benefit of anyone who would like to get together and play without isolating in separate rooms on separate devices. I think this would be very good for people as it would encourage face to face interactions and negotiations while playing computer games. I believe neurodiversity is very healthy for humanity in general, and the more real 3D time together, the better.

Here are some examples of my dreams if you care to read them. I’m just going to paste them over here so you don’t have to go click around sifting out of blog posts.

2/20/20– I had the coolest dream last night. It was like further on into the future and everything we know now was over. Interactive holographic gaming was built right into the buildings, and groups would get together to live in their favorite gaming atmospheres. I was running around in and out of groups having a great time and felt absolutely happy. It was invigorating to actually be moving around inside the games, and no one needed to sit and use screens.

3/11/20- I had a long, complicated real life minecraft dream as I was waking up this morning, and near the end I found myself abruptly falling off the edge of a very high floor in a not yet completed high-rise metro going up across wheat fields, and for real, I literally heard the announcment “YabloVH fell from a high place” and totally expected to smash the wheat to bits with my body exploding when I hit the ground, except the wheat, which looked 3D but still like minecraft wheat, was very bendy and springy and kept me from hitting the ground at all, and I turned out ok. Very surprised, but ok.

6-26-20- I had the coolest dream last night.
People in real life could buy minecraft packages that were like pokemon go, like the mobs would show up in small dog size around the house and you could collect them and set up areas around your home with virtual decor that you could construct yourself with this app. It was all the new rage, and everyone was getting it for their kids. (Think Mo Creatures mod.)
In the dream I was a techmod just like I am on server, only instead of policing chat and helping with player issues, I could teleport to app packages that people set up in their homes and help fix the glitches. I helped them figure out how to set up ‘claim’ areas like in kids’ bedrooms to keep the app a little more contained, and I could help them expand claims to other parts of their houses and stuff.
Imagine everything about minecraft build into an app that you could play with virtually in real life. Imagine anchoring¬† your purchases to 2D and 3D ‘claims’ that kept out hackers, like when they visit your house they wouldn’t be able to make your virtual pets go off claim and stuff.
In the dream I went to at least 4 different virtual claim areas fixing problems, and it was so perfectly meshed between real life and virtual that it was a pleasure doing the work.
I’d love to go into a description, but I’m afraid it would turn into a book because it was so detailed. Just imagine your house literally having virtual pets running around.

8/16/20- Ok, the minecraft dream. Remember¬†that one dream I had¬†where in the future minecraft had begun integrating 3D gaming into real life? Like, you could purchase subscription packages that included mapping out a claims area on your real property where you could activate minecraft holograms that were incredibly realistic, like the game had come to life around you. Well in this dream, there were public acreages set up like real minecraft fully integrated into real life public parks, and you could stake out a personal claim area where you could build and keep pets (like mo creatures), and whatever you did would stay on your own claim, which would be game registered with your county to be your real life ‘property’, kind of like they do on the bigger minecraft servers where plots are laid out and gamers can claim one and do whatever in creative. These real life public plots were set up to behave like multiplayer minecraft servers, with mob spawns showing up, gamerules commands, and auto inventories whenever you physically entered the 3D claim.

So I was running around this public park collecting special edition minecraft drops with a cool toy axe I was really holding in my hand (like catching pokemon on your phone, which you could turn in for more minecraft goodies later), and I saw a super special edition vanilla horse with a saddle on it that was the sort of interactive hologram where you could actually ride it. It looked bigger sized than the rest of the hologram minecraft, like a little kid would be able to climb onto it like a tricycle and make it go as long as it was on claim. It looked like a wooden toy minecraft horse but it was a special edition color, kind of like a mooshroom color but more like red velvet and cream, very rustic and antiquey heirloom kind of look to it, highly collectible. I was too big to ride on it, being an adult, and there weren’t any kids in sight, so I just had to leave it there walking around.

Other special drops could be gained by tapping mob holograms with my special axe, and they’d scoop up the same way experience orbs would, like they were attracted to the axe passing over them. Everywhere I ran around in that big park I could see other player builds and pets and whatever hologram carnage they might have left behind. It was so cute I could hardly stand it. The park itself remained pristine and beautiful while players ran around in the sunshine and fresh air.

Can you imagine how cool that would be??? If this is our future tech coming with all the ‘release the patents’, I’m 100% on board.

9/23/20- I dreamed the minecraft server I techmod on was as big as a small state and very physically real. As a techmod I could do the usual staff stuff, like you only had to think “vanish” to go invisible, or “spectator” to be able to go into gamemode 3 which is a spectator mode where you can go through anything like it’s not solid. Every command was done through thought, which I found really tricky because I couldn’t seem to trust that it had really worked and kept popping back out as visible to the naughty players I was told to watch.

The rest of the staff was there, too, in and out, and we were having a huge problem with a gang of players all from the same family. They loved finding game servers to start wrecking up, and they were certainly wrecking an island resort with all kinds of looting and fire damage. (I guess the griefdefender plugin didn’t work in 3D? lol) The damage was real enough to cause real harm and/or death, even as staff, so we had to be very careful and extra vigilant and sneaky working out how to apprehend these players without further harm or damage and properly process them out back out of the server without actually killing them.

10/17/20- Before that dream was a minecraft dream where I’d been missing from the server for some days (that is actually real) and I had missed minecraft developing thermonuclear reactions.¬†!!!!¬†ūüė≤ Like, where do these dreams even come from, right. But one of the players had built a big redstone thermonuclear processing facility¬†(IN MINECRAFT)¬†and was tinkering around blowing up locked cases full of pets. I was doing my best to get into a staff mode as quickly as possible to witness the explosions without anyone seeing me, but I kept flubbing up the keyboard and missing them.

10/29/20- Earlier this week I dreamed that 3D minecraft was more physical than ever. It wasn’t just holograms in 3D space with geolocated claims any more, it was 3D real. I even ran into a redstone operation where players had figured out they could distill ores out of broken down crystalline structures from their little mining operations. The mo creatures mobs were a little different in real life and scary as heck. In the dream I was still a techmod clearing out abandoned claims, lmao. Quite a big job in that dream. It’s funny I even dreamed it, I’ve barely logged on this month.


This isn’t a gaming dream but the tech is super awesome and I hope this gets invented.

11/6/20- I dreamed last night that there were mobile transfer screens that could be used to help wash older people’s hair, and as bland as that sounds, the tech was so freakishly awesome that I have to explain it.

You know how projector screens can roll up and you pull a string to open one up against a wall, right. Well, in my dream there was what looked like a techy canister with an attachable 3D soft plastic grid platform that could be attached. You would hold the canister in one hand, stretch a retractable handle of a sort across, say, a kitchen sink, take a ‘snapshot’ that would geolocate that precise location in the exact 2D dimensions of that pulled out area from the canister to the edge of the pulled out handle, then push the handle back in. Go to the old person, gently lift their head from wherever they were laying down, slide the soft plastic grid underneath their head, and attach the canister to the side of that grid. Upon locking that grid into the canister, you could choose a stored location snapshot that would hold its transfer point open, like from the bed to the sink there would be an instant locked 2D connection just beneath the plastic grid. Start washing the old person’s hair, all the water (and suds) draining into the plastic grid would automatically show up as dripping into the sink, bed doesn’t get wet at all.

THAT is the cool kind of tech I hope we have coming in future. So many applications to imagine.


I wrote a little bit about where I think my dreams come from at disruption.

If you like reading dreams, I wrote a thread of them at SyfyDesigns.


O_O wow

Took a quick moment to properly check stats for the first time in *looks at wrist* forever, and was very surprised to see 171 different people from 15 countries (104 from search engines) have not only been checking on this blog through 2020, but stuck around to read 223 cumulative pages. For a really super dead blog, that is kinda mind blowing to me. Whatever was going on, for good or ill, that rocks.

So I’m glancing at blocks, that’s new since forever ago, may have to come back and play more sometime. Not tonight though. Just thanx for popping in for whatever reason, apparently even when I was locked out no one was able to hack in, so this was pretty solid. I may wind up being impressed. I’ll try not to disappear so long again here.


being a TV reviewer during the time of Qanon

Copy of post at https://pinkfeldspar.blogspot.com/2020/08/being-tv-reviewer-during-time-of-qanon.html

I made this in 2006, click for verification

I knew sooner or later I’d be writing this post, but I’ve been putting it off for a couple of years. Anyone following me around social medias or hitting my blogs knows I’m with the Qanons, and that I’ve gone the extra mile here and there on my own little digs, sharing and sourcing other digs, and widely avoiding tying this to the myriad of fan networks, actors/artists, and content and film creators I’ve crossed paths with for many years.

I am the middle road. I am the bridge between the ‘cultist’ qanons and the ‘fake’ mainstream media. I have a weirdly unique perspective on what is happening from many angles (keeping in mind I’ve equated myself with Douglas Adams’¬†electric monk, which can believe 16 different conflicting things without exploding, vis a vis¬†“truly excellent at believing the most preposterous things”), and at some point, given my beliefs about transparency and truth and the reality of things in the illusion we live in, I feel it is my duty as a Q fan to come clean with my real opinions.

I pointed out in 2014 in my¬†The Walking Dead- What would you do to survive?¬†post that what we go through watching our favorite TV shows is a real time roller coaster of shared emotion, bonding us to each other and the characters and impacting our real lives.We watch TV shows with lots of death in them. Some of us watch people kill each other almost nightly. Why? Have you ever asked yourself WHY we watch these shows? And then we develop all kinds of big feelings while we sit on our couches drinking our beverages and eating our snacks and think Wow, that was a good show! And then we reel off to bed, content and satiated, with a nagging anticipation for another thrill ahead in the next episode. I call this¬†experience addiction. Those of us with comfortable enough lives to be able to tweet how bored we are while we watch television are severely experience deprived. We no longer have a bedroom with an old person dying slowly in a bed at home, we no longer have to skin and gut our own meat, we don’t have to watch the windows for tribal warfare where wives are raped and children are taken if you don’t throw down on the spot. I can’t say this categorically, because some people also drag home from bloody days at work or the streets, but I’m generally saying that the reason we get hooked on TV shows with lots of death in them is because our emotions get jerked around. Emotions are the surges of chemicals racing through our bodies when we see stuff happening on our screens, even though we aren’t personally involved. Emotions bring us into the story, entice us to take sides, back favorites, and debate about decisions and consequences. Emotions seal the deal on owning it. Death is a very emotional thing. The Walking Dead has certainly explored death from every conceivable angle to the point where the audience suffers when they aren’t getting their weekly hit.¬†Experience addiction.If you like that, I followed it up with¬†The Walking Dead- Overthinking Zombies. I take my TV watching extremely seriously.

Lexx fans know I’ve tackled this idea before, that we are drawn into TV shows and emotionally identify with characters while we process our own real lives on the side. This is from my link column on the main fan blog.


How Big is the Lexx? Because we want to know.  

the sounds of LEXX–¬†info, downloads, soundtracks Collectible soundtracks.

You Can’t Handle Watching LEXX Not your typical sci-fi.  

The Dark Zone and the Cycles of Time Physics and the cycles of time. 

Why Lexx Is Important Critical thinking skills…¬†¬†

the coolest LEXX t-shirt in the world Fans want what they want.  

Why Lexx Is Personal Identifying with the characters.  

Speculation on Boron-7, Insect technology, and the scientists who engineered the political lockdown through religion

Essentially, I am known throughout a worldwide fandom for deep think analysis and real life application for over 20+ years now. I cover everything from sexuality to physics and all the dirty stuff in between, including religion and politics. I’m not afraid to ‘go there’. I have a reputation for spurning other one-off TV reviewers over blowing Lexx off as a ‘sex in space’ show.

Lexx wakes people up. I believe that is why it was contracted into Syfy properties (featurettes) and then bundled and shelved, allowed to fall out of print. I could be completely wrong, but it weirdly disappeared during a very touchy period of world political history without so much as a nod from Syfy execs during a 20th anniversary show on Syfy channel. Why?

Perhaps it was too soon to come out openly as cannibals. Perhaps it was too soon to talk about politically and religiously sanctioned sex slaves. Perhaps it was way too soon to bring up state raised children and mass genocide and a state run judicial machine with an agenda.

It’s one thing to talk about this in a TV show, it’s another to start pointing out how this obviously relates to real world. Walking Dead fans are lulled to sleep every week.¬†Lexx fans bolted wide awake.

Getting back to the entrance of Q on our horizons. In 2018 everything was still way up in the air. I spent months digging and vetting the questions in Q drops being dug up and sourced by Qanons. I asked the hard questions, like what if Q is a double psyop to completely lock the rest of us holdouts into NWO lockstep? What if Q was some horrible nightmare LIE? I was sick to my stomach.

I finally settled around May 2018. Q is real. I had enough information to nail down that this was, indeed, a military op with the sole agenda of getting information out to a very bewildered and sadly hopeless public watching the last gasps of freedom slip down a very nasty drain. I watched millions of people around the world rise over the summer of 2018, crescendoed with whispers and rumors of JFK Jr still being alive. I watched the widening disparate gap between knowledge empowered anons and the general public still following mainstream media news and propaganda entertainment designed to callous and close down critical thinking in lieu of mockingly hateful meming, as if memes are proof of right and wrong, good and bad. And then I watched anons bring the Meme Wars, and the sad hopelessness surged into joyful uprising against intellectual tyrrany.

I had big plans for TV reviewing. I was pretty popular on twitter, as evidenced by stats from hit driven links.¬†I had fans. I loved everything about watching TV with my friends and writing about it, but once that widening gap between TV fans and political reality showed up, I had to choose a side. I quickly realized that trying to stay neutral would be not only self defeating (I really did try to stay neutral), but would ultimately shove me into an extremely sad corner pocket of the internet where I would be literally standing up for child trafficking. That put me into a quandary for months. I love my TV characters, but dammit, real life stars were becoming so hateful online that I couldn’t in good conscience support them any more. Others went into a sort of virtual hiding, and I understood why. After all, they were caught in an industry where one wrong move, one wrong sentence on twitter gets you fired, ends your career. While some celebrities, directors, and producers got away with saying the most offensively outrageous things, others curled up and played super straight doing their best not to be eaten alive by hateful qanons learning the truth behind worldwide trafficking networks that had been committing crimes against humanity for decades, covered with glitz and glam and all the shiny of the big propaganda machine.

Harvey Weinstein is real. That is nothing to laugh about. Several celebrities have been trying to secure enough financial backing to take him to court for years because their lives have been so ruined and controlled by him, literally citing rapes and forced abortions for their careers.

Dear blogger- This continual word by word backup to the cloud while I’m typing is very distracting, please give it a rest. #liveblogging P.S. If I accidentally tab a paragraph out of existence, that instant save is what loses my content, so really, stop it.

Yes, someone reads along with me while I type. I don’t know if it’s AI or a real person, but I’ve had enough evidence that if I’d been recording, you guys would flip. One time they literally removed paragraphs without me even touching the keyboard.Ok, where was I?

So here I am in 2018 weighing options- Shall I continue review writing like nothing is happening? Shall I try to balance that out with commentary in other places? Shall I straddle the fence and hope for the best? What resolved those questions for me was so much more incredible information being dug up and sourced by anons that most of 2019 was me chucking aside TV reviewing for hard research into underground Hollywood, decades of progaganda, again, sourced back to the CIA war machine before I was even born, and realizing the we’ve all been very slowly and meticulously indoctrinated to the point of acceptance of just about everything that crosses our eyes. Eating babies? Impossible, that can’t be real.¬†Until you see slews of actual photo, video, and military/police documentation of dead kids by the thousands, tens of thousands.

The thought of why in the world they were doing that made me very ill, even though I’ve been transparent about an entire childhood filled with death. Parts of me are completely numb inside, if not dead. I have a condition called delayed emotional processing that allows me to handle looking at things that make other people very sick, or so intensely shocked that they instantly disbelieve and turn away. Even so, I spent the first three months of 2019 weeping through the night, every single night.¬†I did not sleep. And I realized that the things I’d been seeing in fictional movies and TV series was all true.

We think it’s fun being entertained by horror. Some people think it’s so fun that they pay to watch real human abuses online. You know how people get upset all over twitter or facebook because someone hurts a dog or cat and thinks it’s funny?¬†Imagine that happening to babies and little kids.Imagine that happening to old people. Imagine seeing kids being mutilated and raped like a live TV show after you found out a neighbor up the street has a child missing and no one can find it.

So yeah, I’m in a dilemma. To review or not to review. Who to review. Who to pretend is still innocent enough to review. Who to promote (for free, I’m not a paid writer) while hoping they don’t wind up being one of the celebrities who not only looked the other way over what they knew, but helped cover for it? My own reputation is on the line. How can I promote¬†anyone¬†during this big messy information war?

Case in point. After Ellen dropped her Giggerota handle on twitter, I nabbed it so some weirdo couldn’t turn it into a fetish parody account. And now that cannibalism is hitting mainstream (thank you, Katy Perry), I’m on really touchy ground even joking about that in a character account because of what I know from the Qanon digs. Cannibalism is very real. So is human leather. So is pay to play sex with kids. Snuff is alive and well, excusing the disgusting pun. So.. Now what? Keep promoting a cannibal on a TV show played by someone who was married into the tippy top of the broadcasting industry? The kindest thing I can do is just politely step back and not draw that kind of attention to a celebrity I care very much about. I have felt terrible and just stayed way back from contact. This was a person who used to DM me on facebook. I watched her world crumble when her husband died, I watched a very confused fandom realize she’d been married this entire time and never talked about it, and I’ve been watching her working hard on keeping her career together through this tragic loss in her life. The last thing I want to do is anything that will make anything for her worse. I absolutely could not in all good conscience cross that stream with anything Qanon, and so I have remained quietly noninteractive as much as possible as a fan on social medias, including my fan group.

And this has been noticed. My stats between Lexxperience and people finding Qanon materials in my other blogs has been fairly phenomenal. Again, like I used to say Pinky was more popular than Lexx, Pinky talking qanon has been¬†wildly more popular¬†than Lexx, and when I see those stats crossing streams into Q territory and not only staying but coming back checking religiously, I can see some of you either wondering what is going on or perhaps feeling this weird pain I’m in handling this situation.

And then covid hit. Covid ground filming to a halt. After watching L.A. burn last year, I watched Hollywood go dead this year. The facade is still going, of course. The illusion is still about keeping up appearances, but behind the scenes, lives are being wrecked, some people are getting arrested, celebrities are either rising up in the media wars or laying low hoping it passes over without some kind of weird death. Do you guys realize celebrities are more likely to die than any other profession? Do you guys notice there are patterns to celebrity deaths? I was bringing this stuff up before Q ever happened. The celebrity death announcement as a way of life is appalling, shocking. Our entire nation can stumble out of bed and be stunned before coffee just reading a death announcement screaming at them from every conceivable source on our phones. This happens so often that we barely even blink any more. We dread it, but we expect it. We weep, but we go on. Celebrities are like TV shows, they are ‘forever’. They are magazine content and news content and live on in their work for decades beyond their deaths. I cannot tell you how much that bothers me, especially when they ‘hang’ themselves from doorknobs or other low places. Being a celebrity is one of the riskiest jobs anyone can have, and we’ve all been hushed not to talk about that.

I’m firmly on the side of stopping the child trafficking and the cover ups by Hollywood, political figures, multinational CEOs, and more. But I’m still human and on the side of humans. I don’t believe in dividing up into hate camps over what people have done. That is a brain training leftover from the propaganda machine. People who lump groups into hate are still doing what they have been brain trained to do.

I have finally stepped out on a limb this summer. I did a rewatch marathon of¬†The Flash, a show that I love so much that it shows up in my tweets going back years.¬†Years. Of all the shows I’ve live tweeted, that one is my absolute favorite. When a discussion came up on a Q discord about a particle accelerator accident in a pipeline, I was all¬†Wo, I saw that on TV. Well, there is some contention among others as well as my own growing conclusions over the years that truth is buried in fictionalized broadcasting. We are exposed to information that is quite possibly actually real, but it’s been storied up to keep us ‘asleep’. We then carry that seed with us and auto reflect that everything is fiction when it comes up in discussion. New science?¬†Nah, that was on a TV show. Catastrophic science?¬†Get real, that was a TV show. Possibility?¬†Lol, that was a science fiction story.

I’ve been complaining for years that my high IQ friends keep staunchly defending 120 year old science with Neil DeGrasse Tyson memes. Their brains are capable, but they seem to be locked into a state of disbelief. If Neil himself doesn’t let them know new science is ok, it must be conspiracy. Who controls science?¬†The money does. Who has the money?¬†The elites. What do the elites want?¬†More money, control, power. When will we get cool new science that actually solves famines, terminal illnesses, and debt?¬†Never.

Case in point. There is such a thing as free energy, and there are ways they could be getting it to all of us all over the world. That would solve so many problems, wouldn’t it? Why then do we not have free energy?¬†Because someone makes too much money keeping us on a grid of purchased energy.

Back to The Flash. I love that show. Funny how a lone scientist can have a particle accelerator built in the middle of a city and we all just accept that as a logical premise because it’s fiction. Of course that could never happen in our world as we know it. Particle accelerators are few and very far between, and require lots and lots of something that we can’t put our finger on. Like permits or something. Right?¬†

See, if we don’t actually look things up while we watch TV shows, then we accept what they put into our brains without resistance. We don’t learn, we assume. Particle accelerators have been around for nearly 100 years. Did you know that?

So in The Flash, there was an accident in the pipeline. T¬†Aaand there goes my first #liveblogging boop.¬†Must be onto something important, and you guys aren’t supposed to be using your own brains, hang on while I replace what poofed out.¬†Pic and link back in place, where was I?

So in The Flash, there was an accident in the pipeline. That was stated every single season at multiple points, ‘in the pipeline’ was an automatic part of the verbiage throughout the show. Imagine my surprise when a real person who’d never seen the show and knew stuff about particle accelerators mentioned a future accident in a particle accelerator pipeline. Among a very small subset of what most people would call conspiracy theorists, there is a real discussion about time looping because of a real accelerator accident, and that this is why people are experiencing Mandela effects and other things. There are a number of scifi shows that filmed really excellent stories about time looping and how it is or isn’t solved. My favorite is Star Trek Generations¬†Cause and Effect. Stargate SG-1 had a really cute version called¬†Window of Opportunity. The best entire series based on this concept in my opinion is¬†Continuum. I’ve been paying close attention to time looping stories ever since I read the original¬†A Sound of Thunder¬†in middle school. It’s funny how often time looping actually comes up in fiction, kinda like we’re already preconditioned to accept it as a possibility.
Why am I obsessed with time looping? I have been for nearly all my life. Obsessed.

And then there is Lexx, wherein the entire premise is the cycles of time repeating themselves, and I go on to demonstrate how that cycle was finally broken.

So that discussion about the pipeline is somewhat recorded for posterity on my Janika blog at https://janikabanks.blogspot.com/2018/12/soooo-much-happening-hard-and-fast-but.html.

Soft disclosures are information leaks in quiet places. There are ways to disclose very real technologies currently beyond the grasp of our everyday lives by embedding them into stories. Anyone who really loves developmental science will question why we don’t yet have what we are very capable of creating. The answer to every question of that type is “follow the money”. And the deaths. Lotta inventors tend to die mysteriously or suddenly, leaving their patents or intellectual properties up for grabs. How many times have water fueled cars been invented? At least 3 separate times that I know of. Why don’t we have water fueled cars? Follow the money.

Everything I write in this kind of TV reviewing can fall under speculative opinion. I can talk all I want about¬†what if, and no one can stop me. When you factor in that I put this kind of discussion on blogs where I also openly admit what my mental assessments have been with a real psychologist, anyone can blow me off as ‘crazy’. Add that I’m in no way monetized, bingo, I can get away with quite a lot. I can write¬†Disclaimer- Everything I’m writing in this post is my own opinion and doesn’t reflect on cast and crew of any film product being discussed, and I hit gold.

Most TV reviewers can’t do that. I can cross all the streams I want and my blogs are seen worldwide. I have proof of that every single day. So why haven’t I crossed the Q streams with my reviewing? I’ve lightly hinted, being careful not to disturb any sensibilities for those readers who would very much like me to stick with just entertainment, BUT much of my traffic is here for Qanon material. In fact, most of it. There are some oddly doggedly persistent followers that still want more Lexx and haunt me weekly if not every day to see if I’ve even mentioned it, but by far, the strongest readership this last year has been people more interested in current ‘conspiracy theory’ politics.

So I’m dragging The Flash into one of my twitter timelines this summer and realizing how much ‘conspiracy’ is happening throughout that entire show, every single episode. I’m not against the cast at all, love them to pieces, and the whole film crew does most excellent work. But I have started wondering- Who picks out the jewelry, particularly for Iris? Because her jewelry is consistently Illuminati style symbolism, from pyramids to black cube. Who picked out Nora’s daily outfits? Because some of her tops are very suspiciously dark culty. Why is the Flash lightning symbol turned on it’s side during the in between scene logos? I come up with dozens of questions and freeze frame constantly because I can’t believe what I’m seeing.

And who in the world wrote their ‘pandemic’ episode? It aired before covid, but everyone was freaking out wanting vaccinations.

I pointed out a few posts back that Godspeed was beat out only by the mainstream media, making it look very conspiratorial.

disclaimer- anyone can take a picture of their TV set with a phone

I could very easily have gone the way of¬†The Vigilant Citizen¬†and started listing all the ways The Flash triggered symbolic responses. For the most part I have chosen to remain dedicated to story content and the characters. I love this show, the stories have been around for decades, and the way they are being reimagined into film now is very satisfying. Like Gotham was for me last year. My Gotham bender was like no other, but I finally pulled out of it and now I’m in The Flash mode.

And since I’m¬†#TeamWells¬†from way back (that clicks to my own twitter hashtag feed for that), I have finally done something I have only done with two other actors in my whole life, and that is find everything they filmed and watch it all. The first was Jackie Chan, the second was Johnny Depp. The third is Tom Cavanagh.

I’m taking a huge risk. Aside from obviously seeing now many movie titles are the typical word symbology for a side of the industry that might be keeping him close to the vest, he seems to be doing the politically correct things on cue on his instragram. He’s not gone off any weird panda-esque deep ends as far as I can tell (that would be very bad), but he’s still very much playing the game through his career. I mean, I knew Johnny was going down hard when Q showed up, and it’s very possible Jackie could as well (you do NOT reach that level of world fame without capitulating to the correct people), but I’m holding my breath over Tom.

This is what I mean about crossing the Qanon streams into my TV reviewing. I don’t know which celebs rising like cream to the tops have ultimately helped keep dirty secrets. I’ve got hard bets Benedict was never who we thought he was (a breeze of change flicking the leaves). Some actor instagrams go super panda and for those not aware, that is pedo predator signalling. According to what we’re learning via worldwide Qanon research digs is that the pedo rings not only infiltrated Hollywood, but literally set entertainment up as part of a CIA propaganda project. They wanted the sheep to follow the stars, as Q says. And they do. If one thing tears our nation apart during this whole pedovore purge, it will be that so many people will be so emotionally attached to actors that they will commit suicide when they find out what some of them have done with their lives.

I don’t know if Tom’s instagram photos are contrived on demand or done out of innocent support, but to me it all looks very¬†careful. I see no hard evidence yet that he’s been roped into something awful, just that he’s¬†owned. It looks like he’s directed what to do and he does it.¬†He’s surviving. And if he believes hook, line, and sinker that the industry he supports isn’t this awful thing, he’ll probably hate me for even associating him with the idea if this ever gets around, but I’m holding out hope that what he really represents is that part of celebrity that makes it through the purge to go on in future entertainment. I really do.

I can continue to produce review content, and I can continue to avoid crossing the streams, which I dearly would like to do because this has all been so very overwhelming, but to be very honest with my readers, this is why I stopped TV reviewing. Entertainment is very politically entrenched behind the scenes, and as much as I’d love to keep fiction and reality separated, in the end my heart is already broken by the celebrities that played into the awful part just to keep careers (or their lives). A woman confessing during an award ceremony that she gave a baby up in abortion for her career was a sickening thing to say. I lost all respect and will never watch anything with her in it again. I just can’t. I could have gone on a long time not knowing that, but because I went through a hellish abortion myself, I cannot follow her into her stardom. To me she is a puppet, and when her strings are pulled, she does as she is told so other people can make money on her career.

I’ve always been very careful not to accept money or monetize any of my blogging, and now I’m so glad I never did. I feel like I don’t have any blood money on my hands. I’m clear of contractual containment. I’m rogue enough to be who I want to be and decide my own fate. I genuinely hope my fave celebrities find this kind of freedom in their futures if they were witty and savvy enough to avoid the entanglements that will be taking others down. I won’t be crying for Johnny, turns out he’s a dick and did some very bad things that cannot be justified. There are others who I’ve heard have already been arrested, and some of them break my heart because they’ve been such a big part of nearly my whole life.

Like I said, holding my breath for what I hope are the good ones to make it. While some out there are point blank calling for death to all pedos across the board (and my first marriage was to a pedophile, I do agree with the sentiment), ripping the giant entertainment brainwashing bandaid off is going to be very hard, regardless. Some will feel lost without their celebrities to hang onto. I want to be kind and remember that some of them were born into this as children and have never been in real control of their lives, which is remarkably sad. 

I do not expect Lexx fans or any other fans or entertainment workers to cheer me on. I am acutely aware that I’m in the ludicrous position to be hated on for saying any of this stuff. I’m also acutely aware of the tunnel rescues that have been going on all over the world for the last couple of years. I will never not feel sick about the fact that humanity could actually stoop that low, ice it over like a cake, and turn it into an entertainment festival on TV for the masses. And I’m effectively the one ruining it for some of you by being the first one you might see really talking about this connection.

The most chilling line I’ve read since Q showed up is¬†“This is not a game.”¬†

My heart cries more than any amount of hate that could ever be pointed at me for sharing this stuff, and the only way to heal and move forward is to make it all go away. I’m so sorry if that means people I’ve held dear must go away, too, but honestly, I can’t handle knowing anyone that would hurt children like that. It’s bad enough if someone kicks a puppy or stomps on a kitty, but to know there are monsters that shred living babies to pieces for sexual gratification is more than I can humanly forgive. Any range of behavior beyond forcing a child through sexual pain and humiliation short of being that kind of monster doesn’t make it easier to love a predator. People who defend this are very broken. Sadly, that’s quite a lot of people.

This seems to be my theme this year getting through all this. It’s hard realizing that my entire life has been shaped by a screen, and that so much of my emotional health has depended on what and who plays on that screen. But that is what we’ve been trained to do, isn’t it? Turn to our screens for comfort.


=D !!!

Yay, I’m in! hahahaha

Ok, that was a mangle and a half. I need to get in here and clean house, most of my menu stuff is so old. Dang, people actually been coming here somewhat steadily. *snif* That seems so sweet, lol. Actually, I’ve caught hack teams assembling with plans to get into my discord, so… Maybe it’s a good thing this was locked up so tight.

So pinkfeldspar.blogspot.com is a permanent thing now, that hubs nearly everywhere. Crazy year for everyone on the planet, heard it might get a little crazier before it smooths back out this spring.

I’ve been downloading archives from blogs, youtube, etc, with big tech in and out of multiple hearings this year I just don’t feel comfortable that my content is secure. I remember the old days when media monopolies were forced to break up into smaller pieces, and if that happens to tech giants like google, facebook, twitter, and youtube, who knows what might happen. Some of you may remember when youtube changed their root coding and loads of youtubes were suddenly vanished into oblivion because users weren’t aware and cognizant of how to transition their uploads. I lost several that I can’t seem to recover at all. Also, I’ve been through so many medias vanishing and transitioning, like myspace and Xanga and and more, I’ve gone through horrific losses, some salvageable, some not. Just makes sense to archive what I can asap before more medias get dragged through more court hearings, because this election fraud thing seems to be saturating all the medias as key players complicit in diversions, coverups, and even interference, which is, by law, actual treason. Be smart and proactive about your content, ok?

Over the last two years I’ve laid pretty low as I’ve come under fire as a Russian spy (laughable, but seriously not funny), a target for cyber attacks, an actual dox threat, and a threat to democracy, if Jack and Zuck have their say censoring as many accounts as they do. I’ve not lost an account yet, but I’ve gone through months of severe shadowbanning, and for those of you not being shadowbanned blowing that off, imagine trying to share something as simple as a meme or a link, and social media says NOPE before you even get it posted. Months of that. Guys, I’m not a threat to democracy. They just don’t like me being a free thinker. Anyone who has read my pinky blog series knows I am a very free thinker. I came back out publicly free thinking in 2012 after a hiatus, and I have not lost any traction at all with readers simply saying what I think, no monetization, no writing contracts, so affilitions. Just me.

That is free speech, and I’m here to tell you that free speech is very clearly being remolded into thoughtcrime by AI algorithms that have nothing to do with actual laws protecting human sovereignty and rights.

I really like the 8kun philosophy: “For those entering the boards You are about to enter an area of free speech, the likes of which you are probably unaccustomed to. With the exception of illegality, anything goes. There is no safe space. Feelings will be hurt. Get used to it. We won‚Äôt coddle you.” THAT is free speech. If you don’t like something, scroll past. Same on twitter and facebook. There is mute, block, unfollow, etc. Why do we need AI algorithms to filter? Maybe because someone doesn’t want us to think certain ways.

I noted on one of my pinky posts that you don’t see Stephen King standing up for free speech, and I called him a pussy. He’s a slave. He does what he’s told.

How about you guys? You think what they tell you to think? Without serious question? Without research? Without really knowing why? If you have an auto-reflex to defend what you are told by your technocratic superiors what to think, you might wanna check into that.

This is the reason why janikabanks is heavily shadowbanned across social medias. Something to think about.


Weirdly weird weirdness

So I’ve been locked out of my own premium blog and access denied by password change even passing 2-step verification, authenticator, Google account sign in. I was able to update the annual billing, which had somehow been turned off, and a phone app is sneaking me into post updating, we’ll see if it works. I’m otherwise unable to open this site as a user.

I can’t prove definitive conclusion, but janikabanks on both twitter and facebook have been strongly shadowbanned since August 5, 2020. I did 2 things that day. I put a particular screenshot of George magazine in that Twitter header, and I shared a facebook video from a film director naming names. While the name Janika Banks became synonymous with shadowban on my end, my web presence shot up 2 points out of 10 and my profile and blog link clicks are coming in from all over the world.

I don’t care how dumb you think the kew movement is, a dinky little person like me being shadowbanned this hard over THAT across medias and blogs speaks volumes about media control and losing free speech in America. All I’m doing is publicly standing up against the Hollywood underground.

Let that sink in.

fun links, update


#TeamJanika is a thing, thanx to friends on twitter. I like having fun, so I belly flopped right in and now anyone can proclaim their devotion to #TeamJanika.

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Anyone following my Pinky updates knows I’m working on final edit, but what you don’t know yet is that it’s actually a 2-book contract. Aspienado will soon be a real thing as an addition to Existential Aspie.

If you could go back in time and do one thing, what would it be?

I would go back and give my mom a big hug and tell her everything is going to be ok.

I’m writing for all the parents out there with aspie/autie kids. I’m writing for people still having difficulties bridging over to communication and social interaction. I’m writing because I’m able to now, after many years of hard work and professional assistance.

I’m writing because in all our broken ways, my mom and I loved each other like two ships crashing in broad daylight.


But when?

I’ve had 3 reps since I first contracted with a publisher. They are being very patient. I’m still here, juggling chainsaws and eggs, and yes, still working, but no, I haven’t crawled into my bed with the covers over my head. Just because this blog looks dormant doesn’t mean I’m not doing something. This blog is a placeholder. I write anywhere from 500-3000 words a day. Every. Single. Day.¬†Some of them are public. Some of them are not.¬†Once in awhile I do 5000 and then come up for air feeling very disoriented.

I had a plan a couple of years ago. It was a good plan. Great big stuff happened all around me, blowing up my 3, 6, and 12 month work schedule. I revamped, salvaged like a madman, and spent a crazy year recreating even though stuff continued to blow up all around me on a regular basis. I can complain about it, or I can roll with it and accept that this is my life and that’s how my stuff gets done, on the run in between the kinds of interruptions that would drive someone like Stephen King insane. Honestly, I’d like to see anyone be prolific and successful under my roof, but I’m rooting for moi in particular.

There is a book by Erma Bombeck called If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?¬†I love her. She was very different from Stephen King. I doubt he ever produced a book with a manual typewriter on a card table in a corner of his kitchen full of dishes and kids. I don’t have an office, I don’t have hours I can block off without interruptions, and I certainly don’t have anyone to talk to in real life about the ups and downs of wrestling a pile of books out of one’s head when they’re all trying to come out at once while both my daughters are having babies. So I resort to other authors for therapy for the “unspeakable horrors of the literary life”, like Unstrung Harp, Or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel by Edward Gorey.

My ADHD husband is being exceptionally patient with this process, and if he can be this patient, so can my publisher. If this runs on for ten years or something, yes, then I’m as bad as Larry from Throw Momma From the Train, but we’re not there yet and I don’t have any sign of writer’s block.

I’ve thought about shutting off my public content for awhile, including a vacation from twitter, but I remember what I was like before I found twitter and started up my public writing again, and I don’t see good things coming of that. I don’t see marketable content coming out of me shutting myself off from the world. If anything, all that will do is quickly kill the web presence I’ve worked so hard to reestablish. After some thought, I decided that family takes priority the rest of December and I’m going to enjoy the holidays, especially as so many in the recent past have been very difficult. I’m going to enjoy being public and sharing my life with my friends and family.

January will be a different story. I’m very tired of this dragging on and want this current project ~done~. I’ve also started plans on the next project. I’m ready to move along and start really having fun with all this stuff that’s in my head. I’m crossing all my phalanges that moving forward will continue to grow easier, as it has over the last couple of months. As I finalize the initial push onto a new track in my life, this blog will become my touch base for product. In the meantime, happy holidays!

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