But when?

I’ve had 3 reps since I first contracted with a publisher. They are being very patient. I’m still here, juggling chainsaws and eggs, and yes, still working, but no, I haven’t crawled into my bed with the covers over my head. Just because this blog looks dormant doesn’t mean I’m not doing something. This blog is a placeholder. I write anywhere from 500-3000 words a day. Every. Single. Day. Some of them are public. Some of them are not. Once in awhile I do 5000 and then come up for air feeling very disoriented.

I had a plan a couple of years ago. It was a good plan. Great big stuff happened all around me, blowing up my 3, 6, and 12 month work schedule. I revamped, salvaged like a madman, and spent a crazy year recreating even though stuff continued to blow up all around me on a regular basis. I can complain about it, or I can roll with it and accept that this is my life and that’s how my stuff gets done, on the run in between the kinds of interruptions that would drive someone like Stephen King insane. Honestly, I’d like to see anyone be prolific and successful under my roof, but I’m rooting for moi in particular.

There is a book by Erma Bombeck called If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? I love her. She was very different from Stephen King. I doubt he ever produced a book with a manual typewriter on a card table in a corner of his kitchen full of dishes and kids. I don’t have an office, I don’t have hours I can block off without interruptions, and I certainly don’t have anyone to talk to in real life about the ups and downs of wrestling a pile of books out of one’s head when they’re all trying to come out at once while both my daughters are having babies. So I resort to other authors for therapy for the “unspeakable horrors of the literary life”, like Unstrung Harp, Or, Mr. Earbrass Writes a Novel by Edward Gorey.

My ADHD husband is being exceptionally patient with this process, and if he can be this patient, so can my publisher. If this runs on for ten years or something, yes, then I’m as bad as Larry from Throw Momma From the Train, but we’re not there yet and I don’t have any sign of writer’s block.

I’ve thought about shutting off my public content for awhile, including a vacation from twitter, but I remember what I was like before I found twitter and started up my public writing again, and I don’t see good things coming of that. I don’t see marketable content coming out of me shutting myself off from the world. If anything, all that will do is quickly kill the web presence I’ve worked so hard to reestablish. After some thought, I decided that family takes priority the rest of December and I’m going to enjoy the holidays, especially as so many in the recent past have been very difficult. I’m going to enjoy being public and sharing my life with my friends and family.

January will be a different story. I’m very tired of this dragging on and want this current project ~done~. I’ve also started plans on the next project. I’m ready to move along and start really having fun with all this stuff that’s in my head. I’m crossing all my phalanges that moving forward will continue to grow easier, as it has over the last couple of months. As I finalize the initial push onto a new track in my life, this blog will become my touch base for product. In the meantime, happy holidays!

 photo sox.jpg

manuscript, update

“Have you submitted your manuscript yet?”

I sent my beta readers a few samples and decided from the way they commented and advised me to go ahead and put a little more detail in (I’m getting too good at summarizing my thoughts since the days of 10,000 word emails) that I would also put more focus into a style I was playing around with. The comments were great, from very different readers, so my content is good, but if readers are asking for more as opposed to less, I’m thrilled. So no, manuscript submission hasn’t happened yet. It will.

When I finish it will be organized like 5 different books layed out together like a layer cake into one book, so if someone is more interested in, say sex and death from my angle vs cognitive challenges at various ages, they can skip sections and continue to see progress I made in particular areas. This way a non-aspie reader can follow some coherence. Aspies can be notoriously wordy, and I tend to want to go off-point and then gather too much into one conclusion.

I figure I’m developing an atypical writing style that mirrors how I actually skip around reading (I read books backwards sometimes, starting at the back to help me grasp the front) and my beta readers love this idea. My goal is to create something that helps readers experience my world, not just by telling stories, but by leading them through the woods of my thinking while I tell the stories without us all getting lost.

My biggest challenge is presenting the stories from several points of view. I’ve already made a beta reader cry, so I’m having to be careful about how I share my views as an aspie child so that it’s easier to see both my mom’s and dad’s points of view, too, in a world void of compassion for parents raising difficult children while still learning the value of emotional health for us all as the stories go along.

You hear people ask “If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would you do?” After some thought, I decided that if I could go back in time as the age I am now, I would be friends with my mom and tell her everything is going to be ok. The most important thing I could give her is a hug every time someone told her she was doing it wrong.

This book will be for all the parents of children who are not yet ready or able to hug, and for the children who will one day wish they could go back in time and let their parents know- Everything is going to be ok.